“[I]t is actually more expensive to be poor than not poor. If you can’t afford the first month’s rent and security deposit you need in order to rent an apartment, you may get stuck in an overpriced residential motel. If you don’t have a kitchen or even a refrigerator and microwave, you will find yourself falling back on convenience store food, which—in addition to its nutritional deficits—is also alarmingly overpriced. If you need a loan, as most poor people eventually do, you will end up paying an interest rate many times more than what a more affluent borrower would be charged. To be poor—especially with children to support and care for—is a perpetual high-wire act.”—
Reblog this forever. I’ll never forget how many of my students in the school I worked in with a 100% free and reduced lunch rate lived in residential motels and how many of them relied on the school to get breakfast and lunch and how often those were their only meals for the day.
Or how my friends who have older cars have to spend so much money repairing them but an older car was all they could afford in the first place.
And how you literally have no safety net because if you already fixed one thing on your car and something else goes a week later, you’ve already spent the little bit of buffer you saved up.
This weekend I was told a story which, although I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, because holy shit is it ever obvious, is kind of blowing my mind.
A friend of a friend won a free consultation with Clinton Kelly of What Not To Wear, and she was very excited, because she has a plus-size body, and wanted some tips on how to make the most of her wardrobe in a fashion culture which deliberately puts her body at a disadvantage.
Her first question for him was this: how do celebrities make a plain white t-shirt and a pair of weekend jeans look chic? She always assumed it was because so many celebrities have, by nature or by design, very slender frames, and because they can afford very expensive clothing. But when she watched What Not To Wear, she noticed that women of all sizes ended up in cute clothes that really fit their bodies and looked great. She had tried to apply some guidelines from the show into her own wardrobe, but with only mixed success. So - what gives?
His answer was that everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear. Jeans, blazers, dresses - everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles. He pointed out that historically, up until the last few generations, the vast majority of people either made their own clothing or had their clothing made by tailors and seamstresses. You had your clothing made to accommodate the measurements of your individual body, and then you moved the fuck on. Nothing on the show or in People magazine is off the rack and unaltered. He said that what they do is ignore the actual size numbers on the tags, find something that fits an individual’s widest place, and then have it completely altered to fit. That’s how celebrities have jeans that magically fit them all over, and the rest of us chumps can’t ever find a pair that doesn’t gape here or ride up or slouch down or have about four yards of extra fabric here and there.
I knew that having dresses and blazers altered was probably something they were doing, but to me, having alterations done generally means having my jeans hemmed and then simply living with the fact that I will always be adjusting my clothing while I’m wearing it because I have curves from here to ya-ya, some things don’t fit right, and the world is just unfair that way. I didn’t think that having everything tailored was something that people did.
It’s so obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t know this. But no one ever told me. I was told about bikini season and dieting and targeting your “problem areas” and avoiding horizontal stripes. No one told me that Jennifer Aniston is out there wearing a bigger size of Ralph Lauren t-shirt and having it altered to fit her.
I sat there after I was told this story, and I really thought about how hard I have worked not to care about the number or the letter on the tag of my clothes, how hard I have tried to just love my body the way it is, and where I’ve succeeded and failed. I thought about all the times I’ve stood in a fitting room and stared up at the lights and bit my lip so hard it bled, just to keep myself from crying about how nothing fits the way it’s supposed to. No one told me that it wasn’t supposed to. I guess I just didn’t know. I was too busy thinking that I was the one that didn’t fit.
I thought about that, and about all the other girls and women out there whose proportions are “wrong,” who can’t find a good pair of work trousers, who can’t fill a sweater, who feel excluded and freakish and sad and frustrated because they have to go up a size, when really the size doesn’t mean anything and it never, ever did, and this is just another bullshit thing thrown in your path to make you feel shitty about yourself.
I thought about all of that, and then I thought that in elementary school, there should be a class for girls where they sit you down and tell you this stuff before you waste years of your life feeling like someone put you together wrong.
So, I have to take that and sit with it for a while. But in the meantime, I thought perhaps I should post this, because maybe my friend, her friend, and I are the only clueless people who did not realise this, but maybe we’re not. Maybe some of you have tried to embrace the arbitrary size you are, but still couldn’t find a cute pair of jeans, and didn’t know why.
There are really fewer things that sadden me more than black women who lose their children to police brutality and release statements about how their son or daughter had academic or career goals they wanted to complete.
Its almost innate to every comment released by the slain’s family, as if they know they have list qualities (that are wholly irrelevant and arbitrary in that particular context) to prove their child deserved life to garner support. As if empathy for murdered black people comes with a list of prerequisites about how they could’ve contributed to society in a capitalistic sense and not that they’re entitled to live without the perpetual danger of being gunned down for the crime of existing while undesired.
Its such an unfortunately dehumanizing and profoundly violent society we live in that victims become the topic of speculation and if they aren’t able to measure up to arbitrary standards, they don’t matter.
If a female character kicks ass, she’s overpowered. If a female character can’t defend herself, she’s unnecessary. If a female character acts nice, she’s boring. If a female character acts mean, she’s a bitch. If a female character shows no emotion, she’s heartless. If a female character shows emotion, she’s weak. What can a female character do without being criticized mercilessly?
oh my god yes of course. SHE, the fictional character almost always written by cishet white men, should try being WELL-WRITTEN!!!!!! god it’s so obvious now!!!! this whole time we were focusing on systematic and internalized misogyny creating unachievably high standards for women while we simultaneously give men a free pass on everything under the sun WHEN IN FACT it was just the character’s fault for not being written better!!!!!!!! whew i’m glad we cleared that up
a lot of people talk like capitalism is necessary to have innovation and I just think of all the brilliant and creative people I know who spend all of their time and energy worrying about how they’re going to have a roof over their heads and food to eat. capitalism doesn’t drive innovation, it stifles it and shackles it to the endlessly wasteful machinery of exploitation.
“The hard part of writing isn’t scribbling words on a page. The hard part is scribbling words that mean something, that make sense, that build a narrative or lay out an argument, that construct a scene or articulate a position. It’s not about how many pages you can cover with ink in a day. In some cases, a good day’s work might be a couple of good paragraphs. But if those two paragraphs are right, then they’re a lot more valuable than ten or twenty pages of idle burbling.”—Robert Masello, Robert’s Rules of Writing: 101 Unconventional Lessons Every Writer Needs to Know